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Course Descriptions: Juris Doctoris Televisionus (JDTV)

The Juris Doctoris Televisionus degree is designed to prepare students for a career as a Television Courtroom Drama Judge, or as a Network Series Criminal Attorney in the event they can't find work as a judge. Candidates for the Juris Doctoris Televisionus degree must have previously earned a Master's of Broadcast Antagonism degree.

JDTV625. Plaintiff and Defendant Demoralization.— The objective of this course is to acquaint the student with the most effective methods of demoralizing both the plaintiff and defendant in order to reveal themselves as the greatest intellect in the courtroom.

JDTV635. Witness Terrorization.— This course will focus on the most time proven avenues of witness terrorization, and will give students the skills needed to expose the flaws inherent in all witness testimony.

JDTV650. Inaccurate Testimony Requotation.— Mastering the proper techniques of misstating witness testimony is one of the most important lessons to be learned by the future judge. This class will give the student the skills necessary to misquote even the most articulate speakers, allowing them to exert full control over the courtroom process by extending witness testimony ad nauseam.

JDTV655. Testimony Muting.— Building on the skills learned in JDTV650, this class further teaches the student the proper techniques needed to stifle, interrupt, or completely silence testimony that does not fit your personal needs. Techniques of subliminally redirecting testimony into completely different subjects will also be covered.

JDTV670. Gaveling for Effect.— A study of the physics of sound in a courtroom environment. Proper timing and throwing for accuracy will also make up a large portion of the classroom experience.

JDTV680. Ethical Superiority.— Class participants will be exposed to such topics as, but not limited to, ethical superiority, self righteousness, moral outrage, arrogance and hypocrisy.

JDTV699. Doctoral Dissertation.— Graduation and Diploma "Fee" to be agreed upon between student and advisor.

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